Family days out

I love days out, especially when it's for a family occasion, but sometimes it can be tricky finding things that everyone can enjoy together. Yesterday, we went to the Dome in Doncaster for my niece's birthday treats. We had a great day out together, and the family photos got posted on Facebook. I thought, here though, I'd review the different activities from a wheelchair perspective.

Parking and getting in

There's a blue badge parking area, which is always helpful but I don't think it has been resurfaced since the place was built. There is a ramp up to the main entrance, which is in reasonable condition and isn't too steep. I was able to propel myself up by myself. The main entrance has two automatic doors but one was faulty. I expected it to open inwards as I went towards it. It didn't open, so I gave it a push with my foot but then it started opening towards me, faster than I could reverse which was a bit alarming. Anyway no harm done and I got in.

The entrance hall

We've been to the Dome before so I knew that the queue would be really long. I started queuing early and was third in line to the till. The cordoned off lanes were quite narrow though and when I got to the till, nobody could get past me, which is always a bit awkward.

Pricing is good. Carers go free, which is a good policy.

Swimming at the Dome

To get to the swimming pool and changing area, you have to go downstairs. There is a lift but it has the look of a machine that has been unattended in a humid room for over a decade. It's quite rusty and doesn't look very safe. It didn't make grinding noises though. The changing areas are unisex and they say they have an accessible changing facility but really it's just a disabled toilet with a bench in it. I used it to get changed but definitely needed help getting my stuff to the lockers. It would be helpful to have a bigger accessible changing room with lockers in the room.

The swimming pool was quite busy but I enjoyed swimming and playing with the kids. The best bit at the Dome is the outdoor pool. It goes round in a whirlpool and the water feels hot compared to the cold winter air. I didn't go on any of the slides, as they are all up steps and probably wouldn't be very good for my back.

The shower area was a bit of a nightmare. I managed with help but didn't feel very clean afterwards. I had to wait to get back into the 'accessible' changing room, by which time my legs had seriously run out of standing capacity and I was freezing cold!

Ice skating

I used to love ice skating! I've only attempted it a couple of times since my injury and that was in Finland on an empty ice rink. Andy held my hands and skated backwards and pulled me around. It wasn't pretty but it was great fun.

At the Dome, they have penguins and snowmen for little children to hold onto if they can't skate. It would be really great, if they had something similar for disabled adults - something like a weighted zimmer frame. I would love to be able to skate again. It was fun watching everyone else though.

Frankie and Benny's 

They were pretty good. Level access, plenty of room to get my chair round. The only negative was the door situation to get into the toilets. Two doors opened into each other and there wasn't any room for a wheelchair between them. I wonder why nobody ever thinks about that.

Ladies' afternoon tea

I'm aware that some readers don't share my religious beliefs. This blog entry isn't intended to start a religious discussion or argument but I need to give some background for the point of it to make sense.

I think it would be fair to say that I've had a bit of a struggle with church as a wheelchair user. Nobody means to offend or upset, in fact they probably think they are showing concern, but I've felt very uncomfortable and sometimes even unwelcome in an environment where I've previously felt completely at home.

As Pentecostal Christians, we believe in a God that is living and active in our lives. We believe in a God of healing. Just last year, I was sitting right next to a woman in a wheelchair who had been completely immobile for many years and God healed her, right in front of our eyes. However, I have to be honest and say that for every healing I see, there are many more who don't get healed and yes, that presents a conflict. It's difficult to understand why some do and some don't get healed. All I can say from a personal point of view is that I am at peace with not being healed and it doesn't get in the way of my faith. If anything, it has brought me closer to God.

That sets the context for some of my frustrations in church. I've had people pray for my healing (with and without my permission) and then accuse me of lacking faith. I've been praised when I've only used a walking stick and disappointment has then been expressed when I later use my wheelchair, as though it's some kind of behaviour issue. The absolute worst was when an elderly lady publicly rebuked my bladder, at which point I suddenly had a desperate need to go to the loo.

For non-Christians, these sorts of things must seem shocking and I'd understand if you wondered why I then continue to go to church at all. The only answer I can give is that my faith is more about God than people and that all people, Christians and non-Christians can be thoughtless, say daft things and occasionally be downright horrible, myself included.

So that paints the picture, which is the background for the lovely afternoon I had yesterday. Yesterday afternoon was a ladies' afternoon tea. It was scheduled for two and a half hours, which seemed a long time for a cuppa and cake, even for me, but Neil's away so I thought I'd pop along.

I sat round a table with a mixture of people that I've known since before moving to Finland and some new friends. Amongst our group were a lady in her 80s who has the youngest spirit and most mischievous sense of humour going, a lady with MS, the pastor's wife who I was at college with in the 1990s, a Korean lady who I've only ever passed brief greetings with and then me. I felt completely at ease, chatting and laughing... mostly laughing with these wonderful people. The afternoon was broken up with quizzes, poetry and testimonies. Apart from people offering to get me refills of coffee, for which I was very grateful, (I still haven't found a successful way of carrying hot drinks) I wasn't treated any differently from everyone else and I felt so at home there.

It's a fair old drive from our house to Dewsbury, where church is. It takes about 45 minutes on a good run and I do sometimes question whether we should have settled for somewhere closer to home but Dewsbury was our home church for over 10 years before we left the country and now we're back, it's where I feel accepted, loved and normal. So this morning, I shall once again hit the M62 and the M1 to go and worship with friends.

OT Home Visit

Having got through the assessment day with Canine Partners, I was expecting a bit of a wait for the Occupational Therapist to call to do our home visit assessment. She rang though on Thursday evening and she's coming today, at 10 o' clock. That feels very soon.

The visit is due to take around 3 hours. I don't really know what she wants to see. I'm very nervous. The main thing I'm nervous about is that in my own home is where I'm most mobile. I don't even use a stick all the time at home, only when my legs are really bad. I hope she doesn't decide that I'm not bad enough to need a dog.

I got sent another long form to fill in. I've filled in as much as I can but as usual, there are some questions that I'm not sure what to put.There are questions about perception, spacial awareness and spasms. I don't know what to put for those. My spacial awareness isn't great unless it's the only thing I'm concentrating on. I do have a tendency to walk into things, misjudge the widths of doorways, etc but I don't think that is connected with my condition. I think I'm just a little bit clumsy.

There are a lot a questions to help them care for you during the 2 week residential course. They want to know about night care, being turned in bed, help with toileting and other quite personal things. All those personal care things depend on what adaptations there are. I vary between completely dependent and completely independent, depending on the environment. At home, I shower completely independently but when we were on holiday in Wales, Neil had to come in with me and help me with everything.

It's Saturday morning, so I need to crack on with study but I'll let you know how it goes.

All out of spoons

Spoon Theory has become quite well known as a way of explaining how people with certain illnesses or disabilities have to manage their pain, energy and wellness levels. Thankfully, although I live with the concept of it, my condition is nowhere near as bad as that of many others. For the most part, I juggle my spoons reasonably well... until somebody or something throws a spanner in the works.

As I said on Thursday, I was going down with some kind of coldy, fluey type bug. Thursday night, I was so bunged up, it took me ages to get to sleep. Then, at four in the morning, whoever was in the room above me, started banging doors, shouting, thumping around and generally being noisy until just after half past five. I did consider going up and asking them to be quiet or reporting it to reception but I didn't want to put myself in a potentially violent situation and they no longer have phones to reception in the bedrooms, so I tried to ignore it. I did eventually get a little more sleep but it was a spoon-stealing night!

When I rolled through reception for breakfast, the lady on the desk asked me whether I'd slept well. I explained about the noise, to discover that she already knew plenty about it. Apparently, the night guard had been up to intervene but then realised that the occupants of the room were, in the words of Citizen Khan, "doing tang-tang," and they are not allowed to knock and interrupt such things. She was very apologetic though and offered to refund that night's fee. I had already been thinking that I needed to leave a day early, as I was still feeling pretty rubbish, so I suggested that rather than refunding that night, could I just cancel the following night. Bless her heart! She did both! So I got the tang-tang night refunded and went home a day early. Big shout out to Premier Inn! It's the first time I've ever had a negative experience there and their response will certainly ensure my continued business.

Breakfast helped me to replace a couple of spoons, which certainly helped with the journey home. It rained almost all the way, so the car was anything but white by the time I pulled into my drive. I tried out a new route though and on this occasion, it took less spoons than the M1 usually does. I went M25, M11, A14, A1(M), M18... via a Little Chef for lunch (which was better than I remember them being).

I'm so glad I came home when I did, as I'm still quite unwell even now, hence the lack of posts. Today, I managed to help Neil get the spare bedroom finished (curtains hung, bed made) but needed an afternoon nap to recover. I'm very glad that I don't go back to work until Tuesday. Hopefully the extra day will help me to get through the week.

So, my experience of spoons this week:

• being ill = half daily spoons allowance
• disturbed sleep = -3 spoons
• someone being kind = 1 spoon
• full English breakfast = 3 spoons
• driving in the rain = -2 spoons
• driving on the M1 = -5 spoons
• driving alternative route = -3 spoons
• seeing Neil = 3 spoons
• sleeping in own bed = 5 spoons
• Neil's slow cooked pork (Saturday) = 5 spoons

BETT and London traffic

Yesterday was such a busy day! I had a full breakfast at the hotel and then headed off to the BETT show. Apart from the A13 being very busy, I got to the venue without any trouble and easily got parked. The whole day was pretty full-on! I got into all the seminars that I wanted and was particularly excited to hear Professor Sugata Mitra speak about the concept of The School in the Cloud.

For those that haven't heard of him, he was working in India and did an experiment where he put a computer with Internet access into a wall, in villages with no school, and then observed how children taught themselves and each other. He's a really engaging speaker. Yesterday, he was talking about how schools of today prepare children for work places of the past. If we want a workforce with the skills needed for today and the future, we need radical change. A couple of his more controversial ideas included being able to use a mobile phone and the Internet during exams, and more self-organised learning. 

I also attended various talks on Further Education, which feels a bit weird to me. I'm still naturally drawn towards primary discussions and resources. I have to keep reminding myself that those days have gone. There has been a lot of talk about apprenticeships, engaging with learners and employers and about the importance of learners creating their personal branding towards employment.

Today, I haven't been very well at all. Yesterday evening, my brother David came over and joined me for dinner, which was great but then when I went back to my room, I started with a really aggressive migraine. This morning, I still had the headache and I felt a bit coldy but I had a Lemsip and pressed on. 

I went in a little bit later in the hope of quieter traffic. As I joined the A13 slip road, I was a bit shocked to see stationary traffic. We didn't move for about half an hour and nothing came past in the opposite direction. It was obvious there had been an accident. I eventually found out that the air ambulance had attended and the whole road was closed. It's a shame they couldn't have closed the slip roads though, instead of letting people join the chaos. Anyway, by the time I got there, I just went straight in - no queuing.

Many companies plan major announcements to coincide with BETT. This year Microsoft have announced that they have bought MinecraftEdu and are changing it and releasing it with a new pricing structure. I was rather concerned because we've just bought it for Family Learning and the new pricing just wouldn't work for us. I spoke to them though, and we can continue using what we have bought and don't have to buy the new version. 

Today, I survived until about 2 o' clock and then I felt so rough, I gave up and came back to the hotel. I'm reluctant to call it the flu but it's certainly a bad cold and my whole body aches. I've slept for a couple of hours and then had dinner but I still feel achy. I hope it goes away soon. I really don't fancy driving home while I feel like this.

It's the first time I've been to anything like this on my own, using a wheelchair, so I wanted to reflect a little on that too. I'm amazed that I have managed to cover such huge distances, self propelling myself, without too much difficulty. The vast majority of exhibitors have been very friendly and polite. I've had so many comments about my flashing wheels! They are a really useful talking point. The only people that have bordered on the rude side have been non-English. It's funny, I feel a bit guilty for making that observation.. but it's true. Many Chinese and Korean exhibitors haven't engaged with me at all, not even returning a smile. There are a lot of Scandinavian people at the show and they are really bad for just walking into/through you. The Americans have generally been fine, except for offering to help but not listening to the answer. Like yesterday, a lady was determined to open a door for me but my thumb was caught in the handle and she nearly wrenched my thumb off. In making these observations, I don't mean to judge or generalise but maybe there are cultural issues at play. I'm guessing that certain nationalities aren't used to seeing disabled people in this kind of context. I know from when we lived in Finland that the Nordics don't have the same rules about personal space that we have and when my head is at their elbow, bag and bum height, it's a bit of a dodging game. I've discovered that if  a loud 'excuse me please' doesn't work, just barging through and running over toes gets people to move. :)