How do you find the time?

I'm currently in the middle of my final module towards my Master of Arts in Online and Distance Education (MAODE) with the Open University. This week, we have been thinking about blogs and blogging as a learning tool and we have been allocated some activity time to write a blog entry. We were given some suggestions, one of which related to how we find time for study amongst our other daily life stuff. This reminded me of a question which my line manager at work often asks: How do you find the time to do that?

Some people just thrive on being busy. Maybe I'm one of them. I work full time, though not nearly as fuller-time as I did when teaching. I have a family, though now grown-up. I have an active exercise schedule, which keeps my body functioning as well as possible and also keeps me sane. So yeah, life can be pretty busy.

In my work life and on social media, I come into contact with many disabled people or people with long term health conditions. Two of the key issues that get raised, particularly in relation to their ability (or not) to work or study, are pain and fatigue. I get that. Since my injury, I have suffered from a lot of pain and a fair bit of fatigue. The thing with both of these is that they are different for every individual. What works for me might or might not work for someone else. What makes my condition worse might make another person's condition better. So this is just what works for me...

Pain

I get a lot of lower back pain. I'm not really sure whether it's muscle or something else. It's not nerve pain. It's very specific. It feels like my two lowest vertebrae have stuck together and then sometimes pulled apart. It's entirely possible that this is exactly what it is. The consultant said that would happen. He also said that daily physio would help keep the pain under control... and it does. In fact, the more exercise I do, the better the pain is. I need to do lots of different types of exercise, involving different parts of my body.

Studying (and sometimes working) can get in the way of this. The answer is that I have to be really self-disciplined. Even though I could easily get into study and be utterly absorbed for hours, I have to take regular breaks and move around or do some exercise. It's the same at work. And funnily enough, my fitness tracker has just buzzed to tell me to get up and move. (See you soon)

I also get nerve pain in my legs. I'll be honest, nothing helps this, except screaming and wriggling around until it goes. It's rather like having needles or nails or a knife stuck in me. The only consolation is that I know (in my head) it's not real. There is nothing there. The nerves are damaged and have a mind of their own.

Fatigue

I find fatigue comes and goes. Some days are fine; others are dreadful. I haven't fully worked out what makes the difference but certainly my mental state contributes. If I feel purposeful, needed, active, as though I'm living a normal life, then my fatigue levels improve. If I feel down, bored, overwhelmed with pain or any other negative emotion, then my body switches off and I go to sleep. Sometimes the sleep helps, sometimes not.

So for me, studying actually helps my fatigue levels. It gives me a sense of purpose, achievement and self-esteem. It makes me feel good. That's what keeps me motivated to do it. After work, I'm usually too tired to study but I get up early on Saturdays and try to crack through as much as possible. Then, midweek, I just keep up with the forums as best I can.

Does something else have to give? Not really. When I go on holiday, I take my studies with me - either my tablet or laptop (occasionally both). I get up much earlier than the rest of the family, so it's a nice, quiet activity that I can get on with, without disturbing their beauty sleep. I guess that is the beauty of online study. You can do it anywhere. Even if I don't have Internet, so long as I know in advance, I can download readings and activities - enough to keep me ticking along.

My biggest study worry? I finish my MAODE this autumn but I don't feel ready to stop being a student. So what next? I might do some smaller scale study - upskill in a few specific areas... or I might consider higher level study... or I might embark on something work-related. I don't know yet.

Indoor vs outdoor skiing

Well this week hasn't quite panned out as planned but it has been really good, nonetheless. As I arrived, puffing and panting at the T-bar lift station after my first run on Sunday morning, I remembered that outdoor skiing is totally different from indoor skiing. I also realised - and it totally took my breath away for a moment - that I haven't skied outdoors since winter 2011/12. I used to try to brush those emotional moments away but I have begun to realise that I need to experience them. They are part of the adapting process.

On Sunday, I had a teacher (from DSUK) called David and a helper called Tim. Really nice guys! They got me all kitted out with the model up from what I use at Xscape, the Biski Dynamique. It's like the Unique but with better suspension. In terms of skiing though, it felt very similar. I had another lesson on Wednesday with Peter but no helper, so Andy helped us out with the lift rig. Peter really made me work hard and let me feel the consequences of my good and bad skiing.

So these are the differences that immediately spring to mind between outdoor and indoor skiing.

1. Weather - I think it would be fair to say that Sunday's weather was challenging. It was hit and miss as to whether we would even get out on the mountain but the lifts were open so we got lucky. It was really windy with big gusts and that had an effect on temperature with wind-chill. For some of the lesson it was also hailing. Of course, that makes planning your route and turns more tricky. It also makes it feel more real. I love the feeling of the wind biting my face! It does something to my adrenaline levels and makes me feel alive.

2. Slope length - I don't know how many runs I get in at Xscape in an hour's lesson. I'm guessing between 8 and 10. On Sunday, I got 3 runs in 90 mins and on Wednesday I managed 4 in 2 hours. That's because everything is longer, a lot longer. I realised on my last run on Wednesday that I was really tired and I had to stop for a few moments half way to take a breather. It takes a lot more stamina to do long runs, even though the lift is also longer, giving a brief rest period.

3. Routes - At Xscape, there is really only one way down. You don't really have to plan much except for when to start so you don't hit a crowd. On Wednesday, we didn't have a helper so I didn't have anyone to follow. I'm awful at remembering routes and I took a wrong turn. As soon as I realised, I stopped, thinking Peter would help me get back on track but he didn't. He made me ski it, even though it was really narrow. I had to do really tight turns to keep my speed down, which was difficult but I did it and as well as learning to turn better, I also learned to plan my route more carefully.

Whilst I was disappointed that Monday and Tuesday's lessons were cancelled because of high winds, I am glad we came and I do feel that I have learned a lot and achieved something. I've just realised that I never posted after my last lesson at Xscape. I had a big crash and injured my right elbow. I thought I might have broken it but fortunately not. It's taken a good 6 to 8 weeks to heal and it really scared me. This was my first time back skiing since then. I was very nervous on Sunday morning but I did it anyway and I feel much better again now. I'm still undecided about whether I want to go off-tethers again, as they would have probably stopped me getting so badly hurt. I'm also undecided about whether to transition to a monoski. What I do know, is that I want to continue skiing, as it makes me feel alive and exhilarated and it's really good exercise.

What does 'accessible' mean anyway?

I've taken to doing mini-hikes on a Saturday afternoon. I'm trying to discover new places in our area that are good for getting fresh air and exercise... but of course, they have to be accessible. Fortunately, I found a couple of websites with information about different walks and places to visit. One of them is written by another wheelchair user called Jeff. Click here to have a look.
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to give Thrybergh Country Park a go. Jeff's description made it look really nice - a bit like Rother Valley, where we went a few weeks ago. Only yesterday it was 'I' not 'we'.

Looking at Jeff's photos and the green trees and dry path, I have to conclude that he visited at a more sensible time of year but maybe he's okay with wasps and nettles. I'm not. This is my time of year. Jeff describes the walk as 'suitable for all wheelchairs and manual wheelchairs' and I'm sure I saw the word 'flat' there somewhere, though I may have imagined that.

Now don't get me wrong, it was beautiful and for the most part, I enjoyed it very much, but I wouldn't have made it round without the help of a lovely man and his wife who pushed me up a muddy hill, so steep it took the combined efforts of all three of us and a nearby fence. If an electric chair had tried it, it would have definitely gone over backwards!

Also, although the bits of the path near the entrance were dry and in good condition, the rest was muddy, lumpy, bumpy and seriously hard work. It was good for exercise but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who isn't well prepared!

So, here are some photos...

So what does 'accessible' mean? Somewhere that is accessible one day might not be on another day. This walk has part of the path closed in the winter and a diversion down an inaccessible path, hence my difficulty. In the summer though, it's probably fine. It still won't be accessible for me though. I can see evidence of parts of the path where I know in the summer I'd have nettles at face level. Just no. No thanks. 

Two dreams come true!

Yesterday evening was amazing! Rewind 5 or 6 years and we spent New Year skiing in Ruka as a family. It was always so much fun being out on the slopes together. It's one of those sports that the whole family can do together and age and ability don't matter. It's all about learning together, laughing and building memories together. I'm so glad I've got fantastic memories of all our different skiing holidays, because it has been such a long time that we've not been able to go.

Until last night! It was a shame we didn't have my brother Matt with us but that'll come together another time. Maybe we can now look at a proper holiday with him, now that I'm skiing almost independently.

So, two dreams came true:

1. Skiing with my family again.
2. Skiing off-tethers.

Don't get me wrong, those tethers are great in a way. When you are sit-skiing for the first time and it feels really fast and out of control, those tethers give you the sense of independence with the security that if it all goes horribly wrong, someone's got your back. It's a bit like putting reins on a toddler. They think they're running along by themselves but if they trip, you can yank them up before they get hurt. There comes a time though, when those tethers are just not wanted anymore and that time has come. 

So, without further ado, here's a slightly longer than usual video of my lesson. It was an hour's lesson with my new Apeman camera fixed to my front and Dan, in his new green coach coat, videoing on my phone. So I got home with 90 minutes of footage, which I've reluctantly edited down to 10 minutes.

We had originally planned this trip during the Christmas holidays and due to a miscommunication at reception, it didn't happen. But I'm forever telling my staff that customer service is all about what we do when mistakes happen. I have to say, Xscape excelled on this one, mostly thanks to Adam, and it was well worth the wait to feel the way I felt last night. Massive thanks to Xscape for getting their adaptive skiing lessons up and running (when I first enquired a year or so back, they had stopped) and for investing in the kit I use. Thank you to Adam for teaching me how to ski a biski and for believing in my dream of doing it independently. And thank you to Dan for being a regular helper and especially for coming in last night to work an extra late night as a volunteer. 

If anyone's reading this and wondering whether to give adaptive skiing a go at Xscape, Castleford, I have only one thing to say... DO IT! Do it now!

Accessible walks - Doncaster Lakeside

I discovered this walk from a website called Jeff's Wheelchair Walks, which lists a number of generally accessible places to get some fresh air and exercise. The first time I attempted the walk around the lake in Doncaster, I underestimated the distance somewhat and nearly wiped out my poor mum-in-law. If you're looking for a quick 15 minute stroll, this isn't it.

Usually, I park near the Vue Cinema and Brewer's Fayre at Lakeside (North) but you have to be a bit sneaky about using their toilets and sneaky isn't that easy with a wheelchair and freewheel. I kind of stand out like a sore thumb. So today, I parked at the shopping outlet. There's loads of accessible parking and there are toilets on site (radar key).

Here's my route, which I did in an anticlockwise direction:

From the car park, I headed back towards the Premier Inn and left to the lake. Where you join the walk, there is a map and a board telling you about the different birds that can be seen.

What I like about this walk is that the paths are all paved and flat. There is minimal camber and it's a pretty good surface. There's always plenty of people around, so I feel quite safe to walk there alone but there is still a peaceful feeling as you follow the route. For me, it's a good length walk. Today I remembered to set my Google Fit app running from leaving the car and it measured 5.3 km, which took me almost exactly an hour. I would have done that much quicker if I'd just kept going but I stopped a few times to take photos.

Here are some of my favourite photos from today:

So is there anything I don't like about this walk? Well, only one thing. The bridge that links the two islands is seriously steep. When Neil was with me last time I went, we managed a team effort to get me up the slope but I wouldn't dare attempt it alone. I think I'd tip over backwards!