I've just seen a post on Facebook that got me thinking. There was a picture of a lady in a wheelchair on a beach (in the USA, I think) and she looked rather sad. She had written, "I wish people would see me and not the wheelchair." My first thought was to agree with her. I get what she means. She just wants to be like everyone else and for people to treat her like they treat other people. I read a lot of posts like this from across The Pond and I wonder whether it's somewhat more difficult there than it is here.
My second thought was about how she got onto that beach. It was soft sand. I remember trying to get onto the beach in Kemi last summer. I was determined to get onto the beach and paddle in the sea... more so because Neil is reluctant to even try to help me because it's so impossible. With a lot of help from my friends, I made it onto Kemi beach and then walked on crutches and paddled in the sea. It took so long to get over the sand that I was exhausted by the time I reached the sea! So I wonder how the sad-faced lady got onto the beach and why she was there. Wouldn't it have been easier if people had considered her wheelchair... my wheelchair... wheels in general? Wouldn't it be great if there was some way of getting onto the beach in a chair?
Is the problem that people do see the chair and assume that the person wouldn't want to go on the beach OR is it that they don't see the chair and therefore don't make adjustments? Okay, so most beaches aren't designed by anyone. Nobody is responsible for making a beach... but lets transfer this question to other places. My family are going out for dinner at the weekend and the restaurant is not completely accessible. I rang to find out about it but was left with uncertainty, as they talked about manhandling me down an internal step. Are they seeing the person and not the chair? Are they not seeing the obstacles that are in my way? OR are they seeing the chair and not the person? Are they just not getting that normal people don't like strangers manhandling them and in that chair is a person?
Recently, on the news, there was something about accessibility in towns and how businesses are missing out on huge amounts of business by not being accessible. They might think that all disabled people are poor... because obviously we don't work! Well I do work. Sometimes I work very happily and feel immensely grateful that I have a job. Other days, I work through pain, fatigue and feel immensely stressed and wish I didn't have to go to work. The money that I earn, like most working people, is hard-earned. Therefore I am becoming more and more reluctant to spend it in places that are inaccessible. Why would I do that?!?!? There are great places that have gone to a lot of trouble and expense to be accessible. I'd like to spend my money there.
So do I want people to see me or my chair? Well, I think I want them to see both... together. I'm not saying that my disability defines me but it is a part of who I am. I don't want to spend my life feeling sad about that or frustrated because life is built around the majority. If people happen to see my chair first, well, okay... they're going to meet me next. Once they get to know me, the chair will fade into the background. In reality though, people don't see me or my chair... they see Liggy first. We proved that yesterday, walking round Ikea and Meadowhall. A few children pointed at my flashing front casters but lots of people commented on my beautiful dog and how well-trained she is. Then I just feel so proud to be wheeling alongside her!
Friday, 29 December 2017
Friday, 22 December 2017
Advent and some thoughts on waiting
It's almost Christmas! For some, the excitement is probably too much to bear, as the number of sleeps gradually decreases and that special day gets nearer. For others, Christmas isn't that big a deal or might have sad memories or reasons why we don't feel like celebrating. I'll be honest - it's not my favourite festival. I have a multitude of reasons why Christmas is associated with stress rather than joy but let's not go there.
Advent is about waiting... waiting for morning to open another door on the calendar and be allowed to eat chocolate at breakfast time... waiting for the arrival of the baby Jesus... waiting for a saviour... waiting...waiting...waiting. I do feel a little guilty, as a Christian, that I don't find Christmas more exciting. I've never been the greatest fan of waiting either. God does seem to like to keep us waiting.
This year, has seen the end of various seasons of waiting for me. In September, I completed my final paper of my MA and had an impatient wait for the final results, which signalled the end of my studies. Now I'm waiting for my certificate and then I'll be waiting for the graduation ceremony.
Also in September, I got the wonderful news that my wait for an assistance dog was over and now my beautiful Liggy and I are learning how to work together and develop a bond that will ensure a decade or so of a much-longed-for partnership. Ironically, in continuing her training, one word seems to dominate... WAIT!
We are a good match and mirror each other in so many ways. We both love our food, especially treats, but have allergies that mean we have to be careful about what we consume. We both need our sleep or we become grumpy. We both need fresh air and exercise or we become lethargic and lose our sparkle. And, neither of us likes to wait! Of course, we do it... but only because we have to.
I'm still waiting for some things. We've been waiting for ages to get the building work done so that the house is fully accessible for me, though the garden was a welcome measure to tide me over whilst waiting. The day the builders actually show up, I'm sure choirs of angels will sing joyfully. I certainly will!
If, like me, you don't like waiting, well at least the wait for Christmas is nearly done. If you waiting for other things, especially the big stuff of life, I wish you all the peace, patience and joy that is possible... and maybe some that goes beyond the possible. Merry Christmas and happy new year!
Advent is about waiting... waiting for morning to open another door on the calendar and be allowed to eat chocolate at breakfast time... waiting for the arrival of the baby Jesus... waiting for a saviour... waiting...waiting...waiting. I do feel a little guilty, as a Christian, that I don't find Christmas more exciting. I've never been the greatest fan of waiting either. God does seem to like to keep us waiting.
This year, has seen the end of various seasons of waiting for me. In September, I completed my final paper of my MA and had an impatient wait for the final results, which signalled the end of my studies. Now I'm waiting for my certificate and then I'll be waiting for the graduation ceremony.
Also in September, I got the wonderful news that my wait for an assistance dog was over and now my beautiful Liggy and I are learning how to work together and develop a bond that will ensure a decade or so of a much-longed-for partnership. Ironically, in continuing her training, one word seems to dominate... WAIT!
We are a good match and mirror each other in so many ways. We both love our food, especially treats, but have allergies that mean we have to be careful about what we consume. We both need our sleep or we become grumpy. We both need fresh air and exercise or we become lethargic and lose our sparkle. And, neither of us likes to wait! Of course, we do it... but only because we have to.
I'm still waiting for some things. We've been waiting for ages to get the building work done so that the house is fully accessible for me, though the garden was a welcome measure to tide me over whilst waiting. The day the builders actually show up, I'm sure choirs of angels will sing joyfully. I certainly will!
If, like me, you don't like waiting, well at least the wait for Christmas is nearly done. If you waiting for other things, especially the big stuff of life, I wish you all the peace, patience and joy that is possible... and maybe some that goes beyond the possible. Merry Christmas and happy new year!
Saturday, 18 November 2017
CP Liggy is home
Yesterday was a really mixed day. Having spent almost two weeks at the Canine Partners' Midland training centre, with Liggy, her trainer and two other new partnerships, yesterday was going home day - so exciting! However, it also meant saying goodbye to some new friends... friends that have journeyed through the last two weeks together, supporting, chatting, joking and living together. Although I was glad to be returning home, I was so sad to say goodbye to them.
I want to tell you about the training but first of all, I should post a couple of pics of my new Canine Partner to melt your heart and send any doggy lovers all mushy.
Training
It seems a lifetime ago that I arrived, a little nervous, to begin the two week onsite training course. So much has happened since then, and I've been on a rollercoaster journey, very similar to that of bringing home a new born baby. One minute, things are going really well and falling into place, and I think, "That's it! I've cracked this dog-training thing. I'm an expert!" The next minute, something goes wrong and I think, "I'm going to be the only person in the world, who can't learn how to take care of a labrador puppy."
We started with really easy things like basic obedience work. Well, I say 'easy' and 'basic'. It was quite easy, once I'd programmed my brain to remember the right commands. For a dog, a command word means one thing and only one thing. So, for example, 'down' means lie on the floor and look very cute. When she jumps up and you want her not to, 'down' (the first word that comes to mind) means nothing. It's 'off'. And as someone who frequently says, ' I'd better go now...' I really have to remember that 'better go now' is the command to pee or poo, and Liggy pretty much pees and poos on that command within seconds of hearing it. Don't worry, I haven't said it at the wrong time yet but it's only a matter of time.
We did lots of outings to practise walking nicely and to practise where to stand, sit or lie in various situations. She perfected the art of browsing through Christmas jumpers in Boyes, a task neither of us will ever need to repeat. She also did a fab job of lying parallel to my wheelchair, whilst I had a coffee and cinnamon roll in a cafe. This was one of my favourite sessions!
Liggy has learned to do various tasks already that will help me out. The most useful is that she will instantly pick up virtually anything I drop. She has picked up keys, pens, her lead, my phone, the TV remote control. Initially, I was dropping items on purpose for her to practise but now she's doing it for real and that is just the best feeling ever. I can't describe that sinking feeling I used to get, when I dropped my keys or pen. Bending down, whilst just about doable, is so painful and difficult. Now, I almost like dropping things, just to see her response. If she could talk, I imagine her saying, "It's alright mum. I'll get it for you. You just sit tight. Here you go mum. I did it! Treat???"
The other thing that I love is her specially-for-me 'cuddle'. She has been trained to cuddle my left leg (yes, she knows her left and right) by putting her paws over so that her armpits are right next to my knee (which often feels cold, even when the rest of me is warm). Then she stays there for ages, while I feed her treats and tickle behind her ears. We both really enjoy it!
Home
Okay, so I know that this will be Liggy's last relocation experience. She's gone from breeder to puppy parents, to onsite training with weekend foster parents and now she has arrived in her new forever home... but she doesn't know that. Moving house is stressful for us and we can talk and understand what's happening. Liggy hasn't got a clue what is going on. She just has to trust me to take care of her needs and her biggest need this weekend is to get used to her new home and know that all the normal stuff still applies.
I suppose, like all living things, the two most basic needs of a dog are food and water going in at one end, and pee and poo coming out of the other. Toileting and feeding are very routine things that I need to keep as routine as possible. I was a little nervous (in the light of some comments by Neil's aunty) that Liggy might not use her dog toilet as readily as I hoped. However, it was the first thing she did on arriving here. We went straight out in the garden, went to her toilet and she peed on my first command. She has kept to her normal routine of going at her usual times. Later this morning, I'll go out and try out my new long-handled poop-scoop. I'm less sure of it's ability to perform than Liggy's.
Feeding is the thing that most amazes me. Liggy is still very puppy-like. She's an obedient dog but absolutely loves food more than anything in the world (girl after my own heart). As soon as she sees me get her bowl out, she goes and lies on her bed. She waits patiently while I prepare it and then waits for two toots on the whistle. Then (for Harry Potter fans) she apparates from her bed to the bowl and vacuums it up. When she has finished, she brings me her bowl so I can put it in the sink. Eventually, I hope to cut out the middle man and she'll put in the sink herself. Sadly, I don't think we'll get as far as doing the washing up though.
Morning
One final thing that I love more than anything. I have spent years in an all-male, night-owl, grumpy-morning-people home. Liggy loves morning! We may need to work on an acceptable weekend wake-up time but it's like going back to the days of enthusiastic toddlers. If I show any signs of waking up, she's straight in there, wagging her tail for all she's worth, parading back and forth carrying her favourite teddy and generally doing her morning dance. I'm sure she's trying to say, "Hooray! It's morning! A new day, mum! Quick! Wake up! I'm ready to pick things up, do nice walking and cuddle your leg. Come on mum! Let's do the dance!" (Evan Almighty reference there.) So I do... I get up and do the dance... okay, maybe not.
I want to tell you about the training but first of all, I should post a couple of pics of my new Canine Partner to melt your heart and send any doggy lovers all mushy.
Training
It seems a lifetime ago that I arrived, a little nervous, to begin the two week onsite training course. So much has happened since then, and I've been on a rollercoaster journey, very similar to that of bringing home a new born baby. One minute, things are going really well and falling into place, and I think, "That's it! I've cracked this dog-training thing. I'm an expert!" The next minute, something goes wrong and I think, "I'm going to be the only person in the world, who can't learn how to take care of a labrador puppy."
We started with really easy things like basic obedience work. Well, I say 'easy' and 'basic'. It was quite easy, once I'd programmed my brain to remember the right commands. For a dog, a command word means one thing and only one thing. So, for example, 'down' means lie on the floor and look very cute. When she jumps up and you want her not to, 'down' (the first word that comes to mind) means nothing. It's 'off'. And as someone who frequently says, ' I'd better go now...' I really have to remember that 'better go now' is the command to pee or poo, and Liggy pretty much pees and poos on that command within seconds of hearing it. Don't worry, I haven't said it at the wrong time yet but it's only a matter of time.
We did lots of outings to practise walking nicely and to practise where to stand, sit or lie in various situations. She perfected the art of browsing through Christmas jumpers in Boyes, a task neither of us will ever need to repeat. She also did a fab job of lying parallel to my wheelchair, whilst I had a coffee and cinnamon roll in a cafe. This was one of my favourite sessions!
Liggy has learned to do various tasks already that will help me out. The most useful is that she will instantly pick up virtually anything I drop. She has picked up keys, pens, her lead, my phone, the TV remote control. Initially, I was dropping items on purpose for her to practise but now she's doing it for real and that is just the best feeling ever. I can't describe that sinking feeling I used to get, when I dropped my keys or pen. Bending down, whilst just about doable, is so painful and difficult. Now, I almost like dropping things, just to see her response. If she could talk, I imagine her saying, "It's alright mum. I'll get it for you. You just sit tight. Here you go mum. I did it! Treat???"
The other thing that I love is her specially-for-me 'cuddle'. She has been trained to cuddle my left leg (yes, she knows her left and right) by putting her paws over so that her armpits are right next to my knee (which often feels cold, even when the rest of me is warm). Then she stays there for ages, while I feed her treats and tickle behind her ears. We both really enjoy it!
Home
Okay, so I know that this will be Liggy's last relocation experience. She's gone from breeder to puppy parents, to onsite training with weekend foster parents and now she has arrived in her new forever home... but she doesn't know that. Moving house is stressful for us and we can talk and understand what's happening. Liggy hasn't got a clue what is going on. She just has to trust me to take care of her needs and her biggest need this weekend is to get used to her new home and know that all the normal stuff still applies.
I suppose, like all living things, the two most basic needs of a dog are food and water going in at one end, and pee and poo coming out of the other. Toileting and feeding are very routine things that I need to keep as routine as possible. I was a little nervous (in the light of some comments by Neil's aunty) that Liggy might not use her dog toilet as readily as I hoped. However, it was the first thing she did on arriving here. We went straight out in the garden, went to her toilet and she peed on my first command. She has kept to her normal routine of going at her usual times. Later this morning, I'll go out and try out my new long-handled poop-scoop. I'm less sure of it's ability to perform than Liggy's.
Feeding is the thing that most amazes me. Liggy is still very puppy-like. She's an obedient dog but absolutely loves food more than anything in the world (girl after my own heart). As soon as she sees me get her bowl out, she goes and lies on her bed. She waits patiently while I prepare it and then waits for two toots on the whistle. Then (for Harry Potter fans) she apparates from her bed to the bowl and vacuums it up. When she has finished, she brings me her bowl so I can put it in the sink. Eventually, I hope to cut out the middle man and she'll put in the sink herself. Sadly, I don't think we'll get as far as doing the washing up though.
Morning
One final thing that I love more than anything. I have spent years in an all-male, night-owl, grumpy-morning-people home. Liggy loves morning! We may need to work on an acceptable weekend wake-up time but it's like going back to the days of enthusiastic toddlers. If I show any signs of waking up, she's straight in there, wagging her tail for all she's worth, parading back and forth carrying her favourite teddy and generally doing her morning dance. I'm sure she's trying to say, "Hooray! It's morning! A new day, mum! Quick! Wake up! I'm ready to pick things up, do nice walking and cuddle your leg. Come on mum! Let's do the dance!" (Evan Almighty reference there.) So I do... I get up and do the dance... okay, maybe not.
Sunday, 15 October 2017
Getting ready
I'm a little limited in what I can post at the moment but I have now been matched with a Canine Partner, subject to her passing her advanced training. Until this has been confirmed and her puppy parents notified, I can't post her picture or name. So let's focus on a different aspect...
Dog food
Neil and I went for an exploratory visit to Pets at Home this afternoon to check out food, treats, toys, beds, poop scoops, etc. It was all very exciting! I had never realised how many different types of dog food there are. We know that all Canine Partners eat dry food, so that narrows it down a little but there's different foods for puppies, adults, mature dogs and overweight dogs.
So, there's the doggy equivalent of Weight Watchers...
Regular food for adults but who have expensive taste...
And the senior citizens' daily special...
Obviously, we don't need to buy food yet but I had to buy something to make it all feel real. It's a bit like buying baby stuff when you first find out you're pregnant. So...
Toys
When I went for my matching visit, I rediscovered something that I have always known but recently forgot... I throw like a girl! Yes, I know, it's embarrassing, but I can't throw a ball in anything like an acceptable manner. Hence, the first toy I think we must have is a ball lobber. This is closely followed by a frisbee.
Treats
We soon discovered that food and toys are reasonably priced. Treats though!?!?!? Oh my word! Well pricey! I shall be heading online to find some kind of bulk buy. Meanwhile, I've got a treat bag to keep them in. I found some of the ones I used on the assessment and matching days quite difficult to get my hand in but this sort was quite easy and clips on your trouser waistband.
So, here's hoping and praying that the little doggy will work hard at Big School (the colloquial name for advanced training) and that we'll be spending the first two weeks of November learning how to work together.
Dog food
Neil and I went for an exploratory visit to Pets at Home this afternoon to check out food, treats, toys, beds, poop scoops, etc. It was all very exciting! I had never realised how many different types of dog food there are. We know that all Canine Partners eat dry food, so that narrows it down a little but there's different foods for puppies, adults, mature dogs and overweight dogs.
So, there's the doggy equivalent of Weight Watchers...
Regular food for adults but who have expensive taste...
And the senior citizens' daily special...
Obviously, we don't need to buy food yet but I had to buy something to make it all feel real. It's a bit like buying baby stuff when you first find out you're pregnant. So...
Toys
When I went for my matching visit, I rediscovered something that I have always known but recently forgot... I throw like a girl! Yes, I know, it's embarrassing, but I can't throw a ball in anything like an acceptable manner. Hence, the first toy I think we must have is a ball lobber. This is closely followed by a frisbee.
Treats
We soon discovered that food and toys are reasonably priced. Treats though!?!?!? Oh my word! Well pricey! I shall be heading online to find some kind of bulk buy. Meanwhile, I've got a treat bag to keep them in. I found some of the ones I used on the assessment and matching days quite difficult to get my hand in but this sort was quite easy and clips on your trouser waistband.
So, here's hoping and praying that the little doggy will work hard at Big School (the colloquial name for advanced training) and that we'll be spending the first two weeks of November learning how to work together.
Sunday, 8 October 2017
Parkrun
As many of you know, I've spent the last four years studying and every Saturday has been a study day for me since we moved back from Finland. For quite a while now, I've been aware that while my head was buried in articles about technology-enhanced learning, our local park was full of healthy, smiling, friendly people doing the weekly Parkrun. So I decided that once the study was over, I would give it a go. Afterall, 5K is just the right distance for me when I want proper exercise but without inducing coronary overload.
So last week, I contacted the local Parkrun and asked whether wheelchairs were allowed. They are but the route is almost entirely on grass. Not to be deterred, I started checking out other runs nearby and I found one that's on paved paths. Obviously I can't share which one, as this is the big WWW and anyone could be reading it!
Anyway, I went yesterday morning and found the people I had been in contact with during the week and they were really nice and friendly. I was surprised how many other nutters were up and out first thing on a Saturday morning. I later found out there were just over 500!
I was quite nervous, not knowing the route but I joined the other newbies and they told us all where to run and what to watch out for. It felt like forever, waiting on the start line... or actually quite a long way back from the start line because I anticipated being slower than all the elite athletes... quite a bit slower.
Once we started, there was that weird thing where you can't move for a while and get up any speed because of all the other people running but that soon dissipated and I enjoyed my first lap around the lake. It was the perfect day for me - cloudy and cool but dry. I had decided to keep my hoodie on so I didn't get cold but after half a lap, I regretted that. Next time, it's t-shirt only! I was way too hot! Fortunately I had a bottle of water with me but I'm going to have to rethink that too. How do you drink from a bottle whilst using both hands to propel? I need one of those thingies that you put on your back and suck through a tube.
On my second lap, I passed what would be the finish line (see pic) and wondered whether anyone would notice if I skipped a lap and went in. Ha ha! I think they might. Being the only wheelchair kinda makes you noticeable. Also, I hate cheats! So I kept going. It was also on the second lap that I realised I'd got a nasty blister on each index finger. I'll have to wear full fingered gloves next time.
By the final 300m, I was getting properly tired and looking forward to finishing. As you can see from the picture, the finish line is on grass. It was quite hard and compacted though and I could easily manage to cross it. I just couldn't have managed the whole race on grass. I finished in just under 37 mins so I was towards the end of the pack but I was really pleased that I completed the course and still had enough energy to get to the cafe and refuel.
This morning, my shoulders feel like lead, much like they do after our long treks round the seafront. I'm really looking forward to next time though. My car's going for a service next Saturday, so I hadn't expected to go but Neil has offered to swap cars, so I might be able to make it after all.
So last week, I contacted the local Parkrun and asked whether wheelchairs were allowed. They are but the route is almost entirely on grass. Not to be deterred, I started checking out other runs nearby and I found one that's on paved paths. Obviously I can't share which one, as this is the big WWW and anyone could be reading it!
Anyway, I went yesterday morning and found the people I had been in contact with during the week and they were really nice and friendly. I was surprised how many other nutters were up and out first thing on a Saturday morning. I later found out there were just over 500!
I was quite nervous, not knowing the route but I joined the other newbies and they told us all where to run and what to watch out for. It felt like forever, waiting on the start line... or actually quite a long way back from the start line because I anticipated being slower than all the elite athletes... quite a bit slower.
Once we started, there was that weird thing where you can't move for a while and get up any speed because of all the other people running but that soon dissipated and I enjoyed my first lap around the lake. It was the perfect day for me - cloudy and cool but dry. I had decided to keep my hoodie on so I didn't get cold but after half a lap, I regretted that. Next time, it's t-shirt only! I was way too hot! Fortunately I had a bottle of water with me but I'm going to have to rethink that too. How do you drink from a bottle whilst using both hands to propel? I need one of those thingies that you put on your back and suck through a tube.
On my second lap, I passed what would be the finish line (see pic) and wondered whether anyone would notice if I skipped a lap and went in. Ha ha! I think they might. Being the only wheelchair kinda makes you noticeable. Also, I hate cheats! So I kept going. It was also on the second lap that I realised I'd got a nasty blister on each index finger. I'll have to wear full fingered gloves next time.
By the final 300m, I was getting properly tired and looking forward to finishing. As you can see from the picture, the finish line is on grass. It was quite hard and compacted though and I could easily manage to cross it. I just couldn't have managed the whole race on grass. I finished in just under 37 mins so I was towards the end of the pack but I was really pleased that I completed the course and still had enough energy to get to the cafe and refuel.
This morning, my shoulders feel like lead, much like they do after our long treks round the seafront. I'm really looking forward to next time though. My car's going for a service next Saturday, so I hadn't expected to go but Neil has offered to swap cars, so I might be able to make it after all.
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